A Mother's Journey

I was sitting in the waiting room doing exactly what you do in waiting rooms...waiting, and enjoying my favorite pastime...people watching.  I do this at the mall, at work, at WalMart, everywhere, and as I'm watching, I wonder.  Wonder what their life story is, wondering if they're married, do they have kids, what do they do for a living, what are they doing here?  When you're in a public place that's a question that seems very logical to ask, but where I was I knew what they were doing there...the same thing I was doing.  I noticed people on this day, but I was drawn to their faces this time more than anything.  Mostly I was just looking for confirmation that they were okay.  Some were smiling, some were stone faced, some had tears in their eyes.  Just as I had suspected.  Then there was me.  I had just gotten off work and drove as fast as I could to my desired location.  I was tired, but excited.  I was nervous, but excited.  I was sad, but excited.  It was very cold outside, but for some reason I was sweating - mainly under my armpits.  My hair had gone from curled and in place that morning to on top of my head in a messy ponytail.  Most of my makeup had disappeared and I slapped on some lip gloss to try to cover up the faded lipstick.  I was far from looking great, but I didn't care.  In just a few minutes I would be face to face (sort of ) with the one thing that brought me utter joy and would ultimately get me through until I returned here again. 


I walked up to the door and read the signed posted.  This is one place where I didn't want to break ANY rules.  The sign said, "Check in at the front desk, okay...Have your ID ready to present when you arrive at the counter...okay, Must be a registered guest...okay, No cell phones allowed," ohhh.  Well mine is on silent, I bet that's okay.  Then I kept reading, "Failure to abide by said rules could ban you from any future visits."  Well crap!  I then decided that even though it was cold outside it would be best for me to make the walk back to my car and put the cell phone up.  So I did. 
I finally made my way into the building.  It was actually more pleasant inside than I thought it would be.  However, I would have liked for the décor to be a bit more welcoming and the furniture to be a little nicer, maybe a throw rug here or there, but overall it was what it was.  There was concrete, lots and lots of concrete.  After checking out my surroundings I made my way to the counter with ID in hand just as the posting had required.  There was a think piece of glass between myself and the clerk and a little opening at the bottom between the glass and counter.  Like the rookie I was I bent down to the opening and told her my name.  She kind of smiled at me and then asked for my license.  It was at that moment I realized that the glass wasn't sound proof.  I could hear her and she could hear me just fine, so I stood up straight and handed her my ID.  She wrote something down and handed me my license and a Saniwipe with the number 12 on it.  A Saniwipe??????  What is that for?  12???  What does that mean????   In all my confusion I took it from her and she told me to have a seat.  So off to the couch I went.  I was joined there by an elderly lady and a teenage girl.  I'm assuming it was grandmother and granddaughter.  I wasn't purposely eaves dropping, but we were in very close quarters and with concrete surrounding us we didn't have a very good sound barrier in the room.  I heard everything.  Grandma asked, "did you bring your report card?"  Granddaughter replied, "YES!"  You could hear the excitement in her voice.  I was proud of her, she obviously had done very well!  A minute or two later a middle aged woman came in with 5 kids, yes, 5.  They were bouncing off the walls, laughing, playing with each other, joking around and seemed to be okay with the being in the building that they had just walked into.  I wondered if they had been here a time or two before.  Momma on the other hand looked exhausted and I couldn't help but feel a little sorry for her.  I wondered what her day had been like.  Like me, did she just get off work, but unlike me did she also have to stop and collect all these kids on the way here.  That journey alone would've gotten my hair from done and down to on the top of my head.  They followed the process like we all had and made their way to the couch as well.


I continued to keep my eye on the time and continued to be anxious and excited as the minutes went by.  I also continued to watch those that came through the door.  Our next guest was a younger woman and man who were both dressed to the nines.  Hair was in order, clothes were ironed, make up and lipstick was fresh just as mine had been that morning and everything was perfect down to the designer bag she was carrying.  However, she must not have read all the postings on the door or perhaps she didn't care because as she approached the desk she was turning down her phone.  Not sure if that was a brave move or a really stupid one.  I guess if I don't run into her again here we will know.


Tick tock it was finally time.  A group of people started coming through this area that divided us by a  yep, you guessed it...a concrete wall and out the door they went.  When the crowd seemed to be thinning out I got up and made my way to the wall.  There I saw lots of chairs in a row.  There were about 10 on each side and they were facing screens.  Each little cubby was numbered and it was then that I realized why the clerk had written the number 12 on my Saniwipe.  Twelve was my cubby.  I arrived and sat down and again starting investigation my surroundings.  There were more rules above the screen and a phone on the right side of my chair.  And it was then that I figured out what the Saniwipe was for and oh my gosh I was so thankful for that Saniwipe.  Forget the instructions for now, let's get to the disinfecting.  I began to wipe that phone down like no other phone had ever been wiped down.  Over and over and over again until my little Saniwipe was dried out.  Shoot, if only I could've got one more good wipe all over the phone.  Oh well, I guess if my ear falls off from whatever I catch by talking on this phone then I just wasn't meant to live the remainder of my life with that ear.  Okay, not that's done let's look at these rules.  1) Do not place feet on walls.  What?  Really?  I wonder what goof sat on the phone with their feet on the wall that made that rule have to be written.  I feel dumber just reading something like that!  Onto the next one, 2) Pick up phone.  Again, really?  3) Place phone on counter.  Okay, that one I wouldn't have guessed so I'm glad they specified to pick it up and then lay it down.  I would've done this thing completely backwards had that not been in writing.  However, had I known I was going to have to lay my phone on the counter I would've wiped down the counter as well with my one piddly Saniwipe.  It kind of seems that all my efforts in disinfecting the phone were all for not at this point.  Back to the rules...4) When inmate appears on screen, pick up phone and begin talking.  Whoa!!!  That word.  I couldn't get passed that word, "inmate."  I just felt like I was gutpunched and I could not stop staring at that word.  That is a word that I would NEVER have used to describe the person I was here to see.  That's the word we use to describe bad people, disobedient people, people that belong to other families, but never had I ever thought I would use that word to describe someone I loved with all my heart and soul.  But there it was and there I was sitting in a concrete cubby with a now semi-disinfected phone lying on the counter and I was waiting for my inmate to appear...my son.

A COMPANION LIKE NO OTHER

There comes a time in everyone’s life when they have to deal with a loved one’s passing. Sometimes it happens in an instant with no warning at all and sometimes we are allowed time to prepare for the day when we will no longer physically see our loved one. Arrangements are made, goodbyes are said and the emotional preparations are done.   But, what if the loved one is a dog???

 


Welcome
to your new home, Nadia!!

Puppies are usually brought into our lives when they turn 6 weeks old and are finally able to leave their momma's. At that time we think they are the cutest little bundles ever and we can’t wait to get home to play with them. They seem to learn very quickly exactly how to wrap themselves around our fingers. A bark from a 6 week old puppy in the middle of the night can bring you out of a deep sleep just as fast as if you heard a baby cry. Then there are the good ol potty training days!! Who doesn’t love potty training a puppy?? How many of us have clapped and cheered for our little furball when they’ve finally learned to squat in the grass instead of on that new rug?

Then, they grow up. Instead of being those yappy, little furballs that want our attention constantly they become companions. When they hear your car door shut they know you’re home and head straight for the door. The door is opened and there they stand with their tails wagging so hard from excitement you are sure they're going to give themselves whiplash! If you’re lucky, you have a dog that truly thinks they are your shadow. When you get up and walk to the other room so does your four legged shadow, when you go to get in the shower, be careful as you step out…there’s your four legged shadow waiting patiently for you. How many times have you almost dropped a plate of food or tripped to your death because that four legged shadow had followed you into another room and was sitting at your feet when you turned to walk away?

Nadia & Boomer

As companions, our furry, four legged shadows witness things that humans don’t even get to witness. They are with you when you’re home alone, they are with you when you’re sad, when you’re mad, laughing, crying, awake, asleep, cooking dinner, folding clothes, they hear your phone conversations, they join you in the living room when company comes over, they travel with you and head to the door when they see you grab their leash and know the words "let's go” are about to come out of your mouth.  And, if you’re really lucky you have an animal who learns your routine and is willing and ready to make it part of their own routine as well. You know exactly what I mean if you happen to have a pet that knows that when you turn the lights off in the living room and double check the front door you’re getting ready to go to bed. If your amazing pet patiently waits for you at the foot of your bed as you continue to prepare your house for nighttime or if you have a pet that climbs up on your bed, finds their spot and settles in for the night as you get into your covers, then you have a pet that has made your routine their routine. It’s really amazing when you think about everything our pets witness in our lives. And even after seeing what they see it’s even more amazing that they don’t run off the first chance they get!

I’m an animal lover but, I believe a dog is a dog. Well, I used to believe that a dog is a dog….

Last Tuesday, I got a call from Colton and he said that our Nadia was acting a little funny. Our family companion of 12 years had been sick and we’d just taken her to the vet a week before and thought she was on the road to recovery. Nadia, like any older aged woman, had hot flashes at times. (That’s what I called them anyway.) She was most comfortable on any given day in front of her fan. So, when he called and said she was panting like crazy I told him to get her fan and she should calm down. He did it and it worked!! She calmed right down and sat in front of her fan with her crazy hair and ears blowing away! Colton left the house to go to the gym and I told him I’d go by the house at lunch to check on her. Nadia had plans of her own though. By the time I got to the house our precious Nadia was gone.

Naptime!!!

Although Nadia was alone when she decided to go be one of the many companions at Jesus’ feet, I was not alone when I walked in the house. I happened to be on the phone to someone who loved Nadia just as much as I did…my momma. The next few hours were a little bumpy, but I can’t tell you this story without telling you how amazing my child was during this time. I will tell you enough to get my point across, but hopefully not too much that it will embarrass him. First of all, he came straight home as soon as he got the call from my mom. He stayed with me while I had my “moment” and then he and his friend Justin took care of our Nadia. Not only did they take care of her, but they went above and beyond. That’s a story for another post, but I will tell you that Nadia is exactly where she needs to be and in a matter of hours it was all taken care of and Colton displayed the most amazing care taking characteristics & a maturity that I can't even explain.  Skills that he is sure to tap into in the days, weeks, and years to come. 



Welcome Baby Abby & Baby Jeter!!

I sat in my quiet living room in disbelief that this being that had been in our lives for 12 years was now gone. She’d seen Colton grow up! She’d moved with us several times while we lived in Pampa, then moved to Amarillo, then moved back to Pampa, then back to Amarillo AGAIN. She'd witnessed countless sleepless nights, our sadness, our laughter, disagreements, the receiving of good news and some bad, she'd given birth to 6 puppies, had 2 of them die and spent the last year and half having our new German Sheppard think she was a chew toy.  She lasted longer and showed more loyalty then some humans that had come in and out of my life over the past 12 years.  She had her own special spot on my bed where she'd sleep, her favorite place to lay in the kitchen and sat at my feet every single night of my life for the past 12 years. She adjusted very well to my schedule, but was a complete diva and had a schedule that I had to adjust too as well. Boomer and Ally go to the backyard…Nadia goes to the front yard. She’s the only one that sleeps on my bed, but when she gets too hot and starts "hot flashing" she has a blanket under my bed that she prefers to sleep on.  She's the only pup that eats in the house in the mornings and she gets to travel to Pampa for day trips while the other two stay behind. She gets “special” food and gets to sleep under the covers when we stay at Nana’s house while the others fight for their spots on the bed.  FYI...Mom and/or I are usually fighting for our own spots as well!  She pretty much gets to do whatever she wants, whenever she wants.  What can I say...she's NADIA!!! 

So now what??? I’ve spent the last week adjusting to my new routine. It's weird and quiet and not normal.  I no longer have to come home and let Nadia out at lunch, before I take a trip to the store, or meet friends for dinner after work. I took my first trip to Pampa this past weekend to visit my parents without my traveling companion sitting in the passenger seat with her ears blowing in the A/C.  She would wag her tail and bark uncontrollably every time I turned on 23rd because she knew we were only a few blocks away at that point and would let me know it until we pulled into my parents driveway.  We had a bigger routine together than I even realized and I miss it. 



Ally & Nadia...bonding!

I've always loved my animals but thought that they were just that...animals, until last Tuesday.  I don't feed them from the table, I don't carry them around in designer bags, I don't let them roam the house while we're gone, and I don't let them jump all over the furniture, unless of course the furniture is covered by one of their blankets.  I mean we love our animals, but besides their special treats, favorite spots to sleep and taking them on road trips I've never gone overboard with them.  Can I tell you that I wanted to go overboard last Tuesday.  It's not like I wanted her to lay in state and be buried on a secluded island or anything, but I didn't want 12 years to be over with in 2 hours either.  Thankfully, I happen to have people in my life who understood what I was going through and knew exactly what I needed. 

So, thank you to my friends and family that cried with me and allowed me to carry on like a blubbering maniac, thank you for the cards, the flowers, the text messages, the phone calls, and especially to that Sweet Child of Mine who gave Nadia the best seat in the house!! 

And, thank you for allowing me to go overboard  for the one pup that deserves to be gone overboard for!! 

Nadia

December 1, 1999 - June 5, 2012

Nadia through the years...



Cloudy with a chance of...YOU'RE STAYING IN TEXAS!!

This blog could easily have also been titled "To Book a Flight or Not Book a Flight?...That is the Question"  Here's the situation...if it doesn't rain the festivities will be held outside and you can invite as many family members as you want!!  But, (there's always a but!) if it does rain the festivities will be moved inside and only 4 tickets will be given per family. 

Really?  Rain in Illinois???  What do you think the odds are of it raining?  Have you been to Illinois???  Trees, water, grass...GREEN grass.  Wondering if it's going to rain or not is like wondering if the wind is going to blow in the Panhandle.  OF COURSE IT'S GONNA RAIN!!!  Because of the predictable Illinois weather the question then became - How do you squeeze 8 people (or 9 if our other precious Taylor would've been able to go) into 4 seats??  Naturally, that's the only logical option!  Duh!!!  We would sort out the minor details of which four would be the seater's and which four would be the seatee's after our arrival.  I'm sure it would be settled over a game of cards and a pitcher or two of sweet tea & chocolate chip cookies (homemade of course!)!!  The seater's would be praying that the seatee's would go easy on the cookies!!! 

Obviously since I'm writing all about it the decision was made to not book the flight because the odds were much greater that it was going to rain than it wouldn't.  It turns out that flying 1,000 miles and having to sit on someone's lap (or having someone sit on your lap) for 2 hours was not that great of an option afterall.  So here we are...Me and Colton in Amarillo and Mom & Dad in Pampa... still 1,000 miles a way from the graduation ceremony of our first nephew, first cousin, and first grandchild.  Bummed doesn't even begin to describe how we feel.  So, we will hang tight and patiently (maybe) wait for a text from my sis that has the first of the many graduation pics of the day.

If we were there for this blessed occasion we would have the greatest graduation party for our Taylor and many, many congratulatory speeches would be said by all.  Knowing my family the way that I do I'm sure that some of those speeches would be much more humorous than others!!  Taylor, it might be a good thing that we're not there!   

Here though, is what I would try to choke out between many tears and lots of laughter!   

Taylor,

Congratulations!!!  Saying we are proud of you doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of how we feel about you.  But PROUD, we are!!  Not only for the person you chose to be during those tough teen years, but also for who you've become as a young adult.  You have continued to hold onto those amazing morals and values your fabulous parents raised you on and you have truly "kept your nose clean!"  With all the peer pressure and expectations to "do" things while in high school, you have stayed strong in your beliefs and it's carried you through.  Give yourself a pat on the back and take a minute to join us in being proud of you.

In addition to being so unbelievably proud of you we are so excited!!  God has blessed you with some amazing gifts and talents and we can't wait to see how He uses those gifts through you.  We all have an idea in our head of what we think your future holds, but we KNOW that God's plan for you is 1000x more amazing than anything we can possibly dream up!    

Hang on bud!  You are about to go on the ride of your life!!  You are entering the time of your life when you begin to learn so much about yourself...keep God close. Although you may stay in touch with a friend or two from high school you will more than likely meet your true life long friends during your college years...keep God close.  You will learn what it's like to have an independence you haven't experienced or needed to experience up to this point...keep God close.  You will have greater responsibilities that will also have greater consequences when not taken care of...keep God close.  You will no longer get to have your mommy call in for you when you're sick or "sick"...keep God close.    You will realize how important family is and will realize how much you need your parents AND Greyson...keep God close.  And lastly, you will no longer get to use ANY excuse you could use before because the moment you have waited for is here...YOU ARE AN ADULT...DUDE, KEEP GOD CLOSE!

Now some advice from your old, wise Aunt Erin

1. Stay true to who you know you are!
2. Your choices, your consequences!
3. God first. Family second. Everything else (school, hockey, chicks, fun) prioritized as needed, but remember...Advice #2!!! 
4. When you get into a situation and don't know what to do, remember what your mom and dad taught you over the last 18 years...whatever the situation is...they were right!  I PROMISE!!
5. Work Hard, Play Hard, but again remember Advice #2
6. Eat Group Apple Pie as often as possible!
7. Thank God every day regardless of how good the day was!
8. Smile!!
9. If you ever need ANYTHING, call 1-800-AUNTERI

Taylor Blake, it's been a joy watching you grow up and turn into the amazing person you are.  I personally can't tell you how thrilled I am when my phone rings and it's you on the other end.  I can't imagine what my life would be without you as my nephew.  I am proud and honored to be your aunt!!  I love you more than a fat kid loves cake and will be screaming my head off from Texas as you walk across that stage!! 

Go conquer the world!  I expect nothing less from you!!  

I love you big bunches than that!!!!  Don't forget...party in July when you get to town!!!  :)

 

WHAT A DIFFERENCE 20 YEARS MAKES

ALOT CAN HAPPEN IN 20 YEARS...

AND AREN'T WE THANKFUL FOR THAT!!!

April 11, 2012

On this day, twenty years ago I was a sophomore in high school and was passed a note on the way to class by one of my friends (Sheila, I think) from this guy who was a senior. I opened the note and at the end it said, “P.S. On April 11, 1974 a star was born." Yes, that is a pic of the actual letter. What can I say...I'm an emotional hoarder! At the time I received that note I probably agreed with him that he was a star, but today I don’t know that I’d be so quick to say “star!” I was 15 then and didn’t even consider whether or not he would be around at the end of the school year let alone in 20 years. It wasn’t until a few months later that I began hoping he would always be there.

It’s very rare that you stay in contact with the person you date in high school. It’s even more rare that you stay in a relationship with that person after high school and even more rare that you marry and remain married 20 years later. It can happen, this I know. I’ve seen it and I think it’s wonderful when two people not only grow together, but grow up together. We however, weren’t that lucky.

I look back at the past 20 years and first of all can’t believe that so much time has passed. I remember who he was back then (BDC) and who I was back then (Eazy E – there’s a story there. Don’t read too much into that nickname!) and I look at both of us now and how far we’ve come. We’re grown ups and are now acting like it. It’s a nice change. It’s taken a lot of conversations, a lot of time, a lot of praying, a lot of understanding, a lot of compromise, a lot of agreeing to disagree, and mostly a lot of forgiving on both of our parts to get to this place. God doesn’t measure or keep track of my wrongdoings, He just forgives me when I ask him to and that’s exactly what we've decided to do.

Here's what I've learned over the last 20 years...

It definitely does take two. Two to make it work and two to mess it up! One person may start the argument, but it takes a second person to keep it going. One person may be working on the relationship, but the other one has to make a choice to put the same amount of work in. One person may forgive, but in order to move on the other person needs to do the same. Seems simple and almost embarrassing to admit that it took us so long to get it. I’m at a point in my life where it is no longer necessary to keep score of everything someone (anyone) has said or done to hurt me. I am no angel and my windows have enough cracks in them as it is so I’m in no position to throw stones or judge anyone else. We all make choices…some good, and some not so good. The great thing is that even though life doesn’t have a rewind button we do sometimes get the opportunity to make things right. I highly recommend that if there’s something in your life that needs to be made right that you do it!

So, after 20 years of ups and downs, highs and lows and a lot of stuff in between I’m happy to say that our relationship is still standing. God filled in the blanks of both of our lives during the down times and has blessed us with ALOT of smiles and laughter to begin the next chapter with. We’ve decided to do as Timon and Pumba do! “You gotta put your behind in your past!” "No,no, no it’s, You gotta put your past behind ya!” If you’ve seen The Lion King you will get that. Ced and I used to watch it over and over and over when Colton was first born. We would say we were watching it with him, but he was only weeks old so he wasn’t really watching much TV. It was one of our favorites and even today we quote the lines from that movie when we talk. Funny, but you can learn a lot from a meerkat and a wart hog!!

Regardless of all that has occurred during these last 20 years I wouldn’t trade any of it for a second. The only thing I get upset about is that I didn’t apologize earlier and that it took me so long to learn to accept an apology when it was given. Besides that I have no regrets. I believe that we are exactly where we are supposed to be and I wouldn’t give up who either of us has become to have a different past. I look forward to continuing our new beginning and even though we sucked it up as parents to the most precious son on earth I am glad that we’ve finally figured things out. I’m sure Colton is also thrilled that his parents have finally grown up. :)

Anyone could have given me a son, but he is the only person in the entire universe that could have given me Colton. For that I am so thankful that on April 11, 1974 Cederick Lynn Wilbon was born. Happy Birthday Ced!! Thank you for being there for us when we truly needed you the most. It's been a long road for the two of us but one that I would gladly travel again. I wish you nothing but great things this year and your many, many years to come!! Happy 35th (wink, wink) & HAKUNAMATTA!!!

A look back at the good times & some of my favorite pics...

Awesome Santa!!!

I've watched so many Christmas shows during my days off from work that I started thinking (and laughing) about all of my family's crazy Christmas holidays. I don't know that many of you will find these memories as exciting and funny as we do, but you may get a chuckle or two if you know us at all!!!

Over the years my family has made many, many trips back and forth to Indiana; especially when we first moved to Pampa. We would never have thought about missing a Thanksgiving or Christmas and would make the trip home no matter what...even if it meant traveling on Christmas Eve.

I was 6 and my sister was 9 when we made this Christmas Eve trip home. I was a tad upset that we would be traveling on the night Santa was going to be delivering gifts. Chantelle was upset, but not as devasted as me which made no sense at all!! I just couldn't figure out how in the world he would know where to find us? It wasn't like he could land his sleigh on top of our van to deliver our presents and everyone knows that he doesn't come to your house unless you're asleep!! Well, Mom and Dad wouldn't be sleeping any time soon since we were driving 1,000 miles straight through (which we did often) so that we could be there on Christmas Day. I couldn't figure any of this out and just knew we would be forgotten.

But even with all those odds against us Mom and Dad assured us that Santa would find us and all would be ok. Mom even brought our stockings and set them out just like she would've done if we were at home. I still didn't quite believe them, but Chantelle and I fell asleep anyway.

Like most kids we woke up in the middle of the night, probably to fill up with gas or take a bathroom break and there were our stockings and guess what???? THEY WERE FULL!!!! Santa did it!! He found us and got into our van without Mom and Dad seeing him!!! How was that possible??? Santa is AWESOME!!! I got the Astroids handheld Atari game!!! I loved it! How did Santa know that I was looking at that with my dad at Radio Shack a few weeks earlier???

Santa finding us on the road and being at Grandma & Grandpa's on Christmas Day with all my aunts, uncles, and cousins has to be one of the greatest Christmas memories of all!! That year I learned that Santa really could do anything! Later on I learned something my sister already knew...so could my parents!!!

A Time For Everything

Last night, Colton and I were watching last week's DVR'd episode's of Dancing With the Stars and saw two of our favorite dancers, Julianne & Derek Hough. They're fabulous!! We especially liked the tribute to Footloose the dancers did and can't wait to see the new movie. I'm not sure they'll be able to top Kevin Bacon, but I'm excited to see this new version. Footloose has been one of my all time favorite movies and I can't help but watch it every time it comes on TV. Remember when we would all try to get our foot to turn completely around like the guy in the opening credits did. Well, maybe it was just me that tried that. :) But I know that I wasn't the only one that would rewind it to last dance scene over and over and over again. As soon as I'd hear Ren yell "Let's Dance" I'd crank up the TV as loud as it would go...still do when I'm watching or when I hear the song on the radio!! Just talking about it makes me want to go watch it now!


Who knew that such a fun movie would teach me a life lesson and a Bible verse that I would remember forever. I will never forget when Ren is trying to plea his case to the town about holding the dance and he gets all of their attention when he pulls out his Bible and starts to read from Ecclesiastes. Although my parents, grandparents, and early days at church taught me this scripture I will always call it my Ren verse because in my 8 year old mind that's who taught it to me. (Ren also taught me that David leaped & danced before the Lord! "What did David do? What did David do?)



Remember this...

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.


To me, this passage seems pretty easy to understand, but is still sometimes one of the hardest to remember. I've asked myself and others many times "What should I do? What should I do?" and had forgotten that the answer was right in front of me. Sometimes when things happen it's hard to get past the one emotion we're in the middle of to even see that there's another time just around the corner. My mom has said to me "Erin, it's ok to be sad. Go ahead and camp here for a while and do what you need to do, but only for a certain amount of time. You're going to have to pick up your tent and move to the next camp site." Dad says the same thing, "It's ok to be sad or mad or tired (you can fill in the blank with your own emotion), but you have to keep moving. Go to work, go to Zumba (except daddy called it Zumbabwe!), go see your friends, just keep moving." Then there's my amazing sis who says, "It's ok. We'll have the strength and faith you need until you get yours back." Wow, I hope you are all blessed with a family like that!


I'm writing this as a reminder to you all, but mostly to myself that another time is coming. Wherever you're at today or even in this minute just be there, but don't camp there when it's not one of the preferred campsites... healing, building, laughing, dancing (or Zumbaing), embracing, mending, loving...you get the picture.


So, even though I still feel a little stuck in my current place; today I'm working on moving to a new campsite. I know there will be bumps in the road along the way to that site as well, but I'm not worried. I have my family and friends walking & praying right beside me. In fact, I'm certain one or two of them will even carry my tent for me!! :)


One last note...THANK YOU to my family & friends (you know who you are!!) who drop everything in a moments notice to talk & pray with me while I'm in the middle of getting from one campsite to the other. Whether I'm sitting in my living room, at a ballgame, or in my car driving from here to there you will never know how much it means that you pick up your phone when you see that it's me. I love you and appreciate you and am ALWAYS here for you as well.







What do people really get for all their hard work? I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.

And I know that whatever God does is final. Nothing can be added to it or taken from it. God’s purpose is that people should fear him. What is happening now has happened before, and what will happen in the future has happened before, because God makes the same things happen over and over again.

To Those Who Have Gone Before Us

This may sound sick and twisted to some of you, but I take comfort in others' difficult moments. Let me explain. Nothing makes a tough situation more bearable than hearing someone say "I know exactly how you feel," and knowing deep down that they really do know what you're going through because you know they've been through something similar. The comfort I feel isn't in knowing that they went through hard times, but that they came out on the other side of it.

Having conversatons is one of my most favorite things to do! When I was younger I was a talker!! It didn't matter who or what the subject was. If I had something to say I felt like it was my responsibility to share it with the rest of the world (or class). In fact, I don't believe that I have one grade school report card that doesn't say in the additional comments section: Erin talks too much, or Erin talks excessively, or I had to move Erin & Tiffany to opposite sides of the room due to their inablility to stop talking. Ahhh, the good ol days. Thank goodness that's all Mrs. Laflin, Mrs. Moore, Mrs. Farmer, and Mrs. Wyatt said. I'm sure there could've been more!

These days I do alot more listening. I love hearing stories about someones past, their high school days, their college days, how the met their spouse, their family and kids, where they came from, how they landed here, their profession, beliefs, goals, dreams and the list goes on. People are truly amazing and have amazing stories to tell! I love it!!

In addition to great conversation, I love wisdom! If there was anything I wish I had an abundance of it would be wisdom. What people may not realize is that while I'm enjoying my daily conversations with you I'm also doing my best to soak up all the wisdom I can from your life's story. I don't know, maybe I should've stuck to my second career choice and been a news anchor. I am definitely a who, what, when, where, why, and how kinda girl! Who did you lean on to get through that? What would you do differently in your life now? When did you know that was the right thing to do? Where would you be had that not happened? Why did you decide to make that choice? How did it work out? Then, if you tell me you have boys, then look out!! I'll start spitting questions out at you so fast you'll think I'm writing a book on raising sons! Just for the record, I have read them all!! I know it may seem like I'm nosey, but truly I'm not. I just know that at some point in my life I may encounter something similar if not something identical to what you're going through and I want to be armed and ready.

Speaking of kids. Now there is a subject that comes up frequently in parents' daily conversations. Gotta love them! As the mother of a teenager I would give anything for my kiddo to seek the counsel of the wise ones who have gone before him. So, if by some miraculous chance the teenagers who have access to this blog actually take the time to read it I, as someone who has "gone before," would like for them to know a few things.

1) Not every bit of advise is always going to fit with what you want to hear. In fact, most of the time, ESPECIALY when you're young it doesn't! However, there is a reason the sayings such as "been there, done that" or "history repeating itself" exists. People have actually done the things you are doing now. LISTEN TO THEM!!

2) Advise does not mean a lecture. The point is to try to help you make better choices so that you don't have to deal with facing potentially tough consequences that others have faced. Look at it this way...the more information you have, the better choice you can make! It's that simple!

3) No one is trying to take your choices away from you. It is possible for you to listen to the advise and opinions of others and STILL make your own choices. However, if you've been given Godly advise and instruction and you STILL choose to make a poor choice then the consequence is all yours. You better be ready!

4) Just because someone gives you advise doesn't mean you have to take it! Listen to what they have to say and take from their experiences what works for your situation.

5) Not all advise is going to be Godly advise. You better know the difference! If you ever doubt whether or not someone is giving you good, sound Godly advise GO FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF! If you don't have a Bible, call me, I'll get you one. Look it up!!! If the choices you are making are in line with the choices God wants you to make then all is good, but if they aren't then you better get there.

One last story before I go. This one's more for the parents then the kids. We all know that life with a teenager can be a rollercoaster. Just to give you a little perspective, on the day that this particular story took place Colton & I were on the part of the rollercoaster where it's turning upside down and going backwards AT THE SAME TIME. Enjoy!

As some of you may know I work with the elderly. There is no greater place to receive wisdom then with this generation. One afternoon a co-worker and I had gone to one of our other facilities to clean out some old files. After about 10 minutes (not really, it was a couple of hours) of looking at boxes of terminated personnel files we decided to go out on the patio for some fresh air. While we were sitting out there one of the residents joined us. She said hello and stated that she was going to walk around the courtyard a couple of times and get her daily walk in. She hung her purse over her walker and away she went. She was by far the sweetest sight ever and making really good time around that courtyard I might add!! After about 2 laps she came over and sat with us. We went through introductions and then...the conversation began!! Cleaning out terminated files had just dropped on my priority list! She told us all about her travels, her late husband, the activities she was involved in at the retirement community, what day she goes to play Bingo, (Tuesday, just in case you were wondering) and then came the subject I personally was waiting for...her KIDS. Her son had moved her to Amarillo 12 years ago to be close to him. She had other children that were scattered all over the states as well. She then looked at us and asked if either of us had kids. My co-worker told about her 2 daughters and her son and they talked about the differences in raising boys and girls. We all got a couple of laughs out of that dialogue. Then...it was my turn.
"I have a son."
"Just one?" she asked.
"Yes ma'am."
"How old is he?"
"16"
"Oh"
Oh??? That's it! I just get an "Oh." You've got to be kidding me!! There's got to be more than that!!
Well, there was.

"Let me tell ya something about teenagers" she said. "When your kids are toddlers they step on your feet, but when they become teenagers they step on your heart."

This most precious woman then reached for her walker, got up out of the chair, thanked us for visiting with her and then took off around the courtyard to finish her walk. What she didn't know is that she had given me more wisdom in those few words then she could have even possibly imagined! She had now made my list of "people who have gone before me" and she made it! Another example of a momma who had seen some hard times, but came through it and now enjoys her kiddos & the relationship they have with each other!!!

Like you, we're still on that rollercoaster every day, but thanks to those who have gone before me we don't turn upside down and go backwards for long. I'm blessed to be surrounded by wise, wise family & friends, as well as a God who gives me grace along the way to finding the wisdom I search for.

So, to all the momma's out there who are either getting their feet or their hearts stepped on, come join me for a margarita and a pedicure and we'll continue to ride the rollercoaster in style!!!