This may sound sick and twisted to some of you, but I take comfort in others' difficult moments. Let me explain. Nothing makes a tough situation more bearable than hearing someone say "I know exactly how you feel," and knowing deep down that they really do know what you're going through because you know they've been through something similar. The comfort I feel isn't in knowing that they went through hard times, but that they came out on the other side of it.
Having conversatons is one of my most favorite things to do! When I was younger I was a talker!! It didn't matter who or what the subject was. If I had something to say I felt like it was my responsibility to share it with the rest of the world (or class). In fact, I don't believe that I have one grade school report card that doesn't say in the additional comments section: Erin talks too much, or Erin talks excessively, or I had to move Erin & Tiffany to opposite sides of the room due to their inablility to stop talking. Ahhh, the good ol days. Thank goodness that's all Mrs. Laflin, Mrs. Moore, Mrs. Farmer, and Mrs. Wyatt said. I'm sure there could've been more!
These days I do alot more listening. I love hearing stories about someones past, their high school days, their college days, how the met their spouse, their family and kids, where they came from, how they landed here, their profession, beliefs, goals, dreams and the list goes on. People are truly amazing and have amazing stories to tell! I love it!!
In addition to great conversation, I love wisdom! If there was anything I wish I had an abundance of it would be wisdom. What people may not realize is that while I'm enjoying my daily conversations with you I'm also doing my best to soak up all the wisdom I can from your life's story. I don't know, maybe I should've stuck to my second career choice and been a news anchor. I am definitely a who, what, when, where, why, and how kinda girl! Who did you lean on to get through that? What would you do differently in your life now? When did you know that was the right thing to do? Where would you be had that not happened? Why did you decide to make that choice? How did it work out? Then, if you tell me you have boys, then look out!! I'll start spitting questions out at you so fast you'll think I'm writing a book on raising sons! Just for the record, I have read them all!! I know it may seem like I'm nosey, but truly I'm not. I just know that at some point in my life I may encounter something similar if not something identical to what you're going through and I want to be armed and ready.
Speaking of kids. Now there is a subject that comes up frequently in parents' daily conversations. Gotta love them! As the mother of a teenager I would give anything for my kiddo to seek the counsel of the wise ones who have gone before him. So, if by some miraculous chance the teenagers who have access to this blog actually take the time to read it I, as someone who has "gone before," would like for them to know a few things.
1) Not every bit of advise is always going to fit with what you want to hear. In fact, most of the time, ESPECIALY when you're young it doesn't! However, there is a reason the sayings such as "been there, done that" or "history repeating itself" exists. People have actually done the things you are doing now. LISTEN TO THEM!!
2) Advise does not mean a lecture. The point is to try to help you make better choices so that you don't have to deal with facing potentially tough consequences that others have faced. Look at it this way...the more information you have, the better choice you can make! It's that simple!
3) No one is trying to take your choices away from you. It is possible for you to listen to the advise and opinions of others and STILL make your own choices. However, if you've been given Godly advise and instruction and you STILL choose to make a poor choice then the consequence is all yours. You better be ready!
4) Just because someone gives you advise doesn't mean you have to take it! Listen to what they have to say and take from their experiences what works for your situation.
5) Not all advise is going to be Godly advise. You better know the difference! If you ever doubt whether or not someone is giving you good, sound Godly advise GO FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF! If you don't have a Bible, call me, I'll get you one. Look it up!!! If the choices you are making are in line with the choices God wants you to make then all is good, but if they aren't then you better get there.
One last story before I go. This one's more for the parents then the kids. We all know that life with a teenager can be a rollercoaster. Just to give you a little perspective, on the day that this particular story took place Colton & I were on the part of the rollercoaster where it's turning upside down and going backwards AT THE SAME TIME. Enjoy!
As some of you may know I work with the elderly. There is no greater place to receive wisdom then with this generation. One afternoon a co-worker and I had gone to one of our other facilities to clean out some old files. After about 10 minutes (not really, it was a couple of hours) of looking at boxes of terminated personnel files we decided to go out on the patio for some fresh air. While we were sitting out there one of the residents joined us. She said hello and stated that she was going to walk around the courtyard a couple of times and get her daily walk in. She hung her purse over her walker and away she went. She was by far the sweetest sight ever and making really good time around that courtyard I might add!! After about 2 laps she came over and sat with us. We went through introductions and then...the conversation began!! Cleaning out terminated files had just dropped on my priority list! She told us all about her travels, her late husband, the activities she was involved in at the retirement community, what day she goes to play Bingo, (Tuesday, just in case you were wondering) and then came the subject I personally was waiting for...her KIDS. Her son had moved her to Amarillo 12 years ago to be close to him. She had other children that were scattered all over the states as well. She then looked at us and asked if either of us had kids. My co-worker told about her 2 daughters and her son and they talked about the differences in raising boys and girls. We all got a couple of laughs out of that dialogue. Then...it was my turn.
"I have a son."
"Just one?" she asked.
"Yes ma'am."
"How old is he?"
"16"
"Oh"
Oh??? That's it! I just get an "Oh." You've got to be kidding me!! There's got to be more than that!!
Well, there was.
"Let me tell ya something about teenagers" she said. "When your kids are toddlers they step on your feet, but when they become teenagers they step on your heart."
This most precious woman then reached for her walker, got up out of the chair, thanked us for visiting with her and then took off around the courtyard to finish her walk. What she didn't know is that she had given me more wisdom in those few words then she could have even possibly imagined! She had now made my list of "people who have gone before me" and she made it! Another example of a momma who had seen some hard times, but came through it and now enjoys her kiddos & the relationship they have with each other!!!
Like you, we're still on that rollercoaster every day, but thanks to those who have gone before me we don't turn upside down and go backwards for long. I'm blessed to be surrounded by wise, wise family & friends, as well as a God who gives me grace along the way to finding the wisdom I search for.
So, to all the momma's out there who are either getting their feet or their hearts stepped on, come join me for a margarita and a pedicure and we'll continue to ride the rollercoaster in style!!!
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Saturday, September 17, 2011
IT TAKES A VILLAGE
Well hello! As you can see I started this blog long ago when blogs started becoming so popular. I mainly did it "just because" and had no intention of EVER sharing any of these with ANYONE (except my momma & my sis)! However, there doesn't ever seem to be a day when I am not looking for some good, wholesome, godly advise & opinions on raising children (more specifically - A TEENAGER!) or career moves, or training out-of-sorts German Shepherd's, or decorating tips, or, or, or...the list goes on. So I have now decided to share my thoughts & opinions and hope that you will do the same!
If you know my dear friend Angel and you read her blogs please take into consideration that I AM NOT ANGEL! That girl has a way about writing that will have you laughing so hard you're on the verge of peeing your pants to then crying like a baby all in about 30 seconds. For that very reason, among others, I call her my Steel Magnolia. (Bet you didn't know that did you, girl?) Remember when you watched that the first time and started bawling so hard you couldn't catch your breath when Shelby died and then laughed so hard you still couldn't catch your breath when Clairie tried to get M'lyn to "take a whack at Wheezer!" Angel does the exact same thing to you (with correct spelling & punctuation, too)!!
Me...not so much! I'm not the blogging/writing genius my Steel Magnolia is nor am i a grammatical & spelling genius. If I think a comma belongs there then I will put it there and spellcheck was invented for a reason...to be used! So, if you're looking for a well layed out, grammatically correct, with no spelling errors kind of blog you might want to skip this one.
I mainly just want your feedback on your experiences and your thoughts on issues that I or friends of mine may be dealing with. When I say "issues," I mean this thing we call LIFE! I must admit that I may also just need to vent from time to time and who better to vent to then the world. Well, my world of friends! :)
I hope that you will feel free to post your truths and maybe even get a little something out of this blog wannabe as well. So in the words of Beth Moore, "Let's just do the thang!"
Here we go...I posted on facebook this morning a scripture that has been on my mind for several months. The scripture was Matthew 19:13-15 when Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” The reason that I've thought about it so much is because I've witnessed on several occasions adults leading young minds astray. Are they doing it on purpose? I hope not. Are they aware they are doing it? How could they not be??? To me the scripture is very cut and dry. I don't think you can take "do not hinder them" too much out of context. I've also been drawn to:
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Ephesians 6:1-3
or how about
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Colossians 3:19-21
or
This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands.
1 John 5:1-3
Obviously I could go on and on, but I'm sure you get the picture. Here's why I bring this up. A parent recently told a child "no." I know, dreadful isn't it! In this instance the parent said no because they truly felt it was in that childs best interest. Later on, an adult (non-parent of the child) has said yes to the child in regards to the same situation KNOWING the parent disagrees. Now, wouldn't that person logically & biblically be encouraging the child to go against God's very own commandment to honor thy father and thy mother which in turn would be hindering that child's walk with Christ??? I'm literally asking the question here. To me, this is encouraging a child to not only go against their parent's wishes, but in doing so encouraging the child to disregard a commandment. Plain and simple. How could you not expect to have severe consequences from our God! Am I wrong?? Am I misinterpretting the scripture?? Anyone? Anyone?
I don't think I am and here's why. After posting that on facebook I received texts messages and phone calls out the wazoo! Let me add that they were not opposing my comment. I got alot of "AMENS" and alot of "what's going on and how can we help" comments. I have great family & friends by the way!! Y'all ROCK!! However, if someone out there does have another opinion I ask that you share. Part of me doing this is to learn and grow. I want to be able to be well rounded and see the Word of God for ALL that it has to offer me. My ultimate goal is to be the best parent to the one and only child God has blessed me with. I don't want to get to the end of his teen years and wonder if I could have layed a better foundation. I want his foundation to be solid and the one way for that to happen is to see it from all angles. So please, by all means, share your thoughts.
I've been a parent for 16 years now and have spent a good part of these 16 years in constant communication with God, as I'm sure all you parents have. In fact, if you pull up next to me at a stop light and see my lips moving I might be singing, but chances are I'm having myself a conversation with the Man! Just smile and nod and I'll wave! I am so thankful that He gave his precious angel to me to raise on this earth, but sometimes don't understand how He thought I would be the best person to raise such an amazing human being. Despite all my parenting screw ups he is a great kid!! The reason he is such an amazing kid is because of my village!! Now, I don't want to get all political here, but I will say that the only thing I have agreed with Hillary on is that IT TAKES A VILLAGE! This raising kids thing is hard! Angel, if you're reading DO NOT be discouraged! You are awesome and are going to be an awesome mother!! Trust me and TRUST HIM!! But, it does take a village. My village consists of my God, my parents, my sister & brother in law, my extended family, and ALL the people who have been these wonderful influences in Colton's life. God has seen fit to place people in his life that have his best interest at heart...and mine too!! He's had coaches who have remained close since he was 5 years old. Randy, David, Richard, Johnny, Frank...the list goes on and on and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE MEN ARE STILL INVOLVED IN MY KIDS LIFE AND SO ARE THEIR PRECIOUS WIVES!! That's a dang good village!!! Our Pampa friends who check on him and support both of us in what we do daily. THEY ARE OUR VILLAGE!! None of these people would EVER, EVER consider doing or saying anything that went against my teachings and guidance. We are truly blessed and I am thankful every day that God cares so much about us to put such amazing people in our lives!
I guess that the point I'd like and hope to be making is that everything we say and do has an influence on someone. If you are in a position where you may be influencing a small child or young adult make sure you are leading them down their chosen path and not HINDERING them by guiding the down your own path. Communicate with their parents and abide by their parents wishes and boundaries. Like I said in my fb post, I know as a parent that I make mistakes...DAILY, but God will reveal to me what needs to be revealed and He will grant me and my child the grace we need to make it through in spite of those mistakes. You never know whose village you may be a part of. Take the role seriously! It's not only a big deal, but it's an honor!!
If you know my dear friend Angel and you read her blogs please take into consideration that I AM NOT ANGEL! That girl has a way about writing that will have you laughing so hard you're on the verge of peeing your pants to then crying like a baby all in about 30 seconds. For that very reason, among others, I call her my Steel Magnolia. (Bet you didn't know that did you, girl?) Remember when you watched that the first time and started bawling so hard you couldn't catch your breath when Shelby died and then laughed so hard you still couldn't catch your breath when Clairie tried to get M'lyn to "take a whack at Wheezer!" Angel does the exact same thing to you (with correct spelling & punctuation, too)!!
Me...not so much! I'm not the blogging/writing genius my Steel Magnolia is nor am i a grammatical & spelling genius. If I think a comma belongs there then I will put it there and spellcheck was invented for a reason...to be used! So, if you're looking for a well layed out, grammatically correct, with no spelling errors kind of blog you might want to skip this one.
I mainly just want your feedback on your experiences and your thoughts on issues that I or friends of mine may be dealing with. When I say "issues," I mean this thing we call LIFE! I must admit that I may also just need to vent from time to time and who better to vent to then the world. Well, my world of friends! :)
I hope that you will feel free to post your truths and maybe even get a little something out of this blog wannabe as well. So in the words of Beth Moore, "Let's just do the thang!"
Here we go...I posted on facebook this morning a scripture that has been on my mind for several months. The scripture was Matthew 19:13-15 when Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” The reason that I've thought about it so much is because I've witnessed on several occasions adults leading young minds astray. Are they doing it on purpose? I hope not. Are they aware they are doing it? How could they not be??? To me the scripture is very cut and dry. I don't think you can take "do not hinder them" too much out of context. I've also been drawn to:
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Ephesians 6:1-3
or how about
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Colossians 3:19-21
or
This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands.
1 John 5:1-3
Obviously I could go on and on, but I'm sure you get the picture. Here's why I bring this up. A parent recently told a child "no." I know, dreadful isn't it! In this instance the parent said no because they truly felt it was in that childs best interest. Later on, an adult (non-parent of the child) has said yes to the child in regards to the same situation KNOWING the parent disagrees. Now, wouldn't that person logically & biblically be encouraging the child to go against God's very own commandment to honor thy father and thy mother which in turn would be hindering that child's walk with Christ??? I'm literally asking the question here. To me, this is encouraging a child to not only go against their parent's wishes, but in doing so encouraging the child to disregard a commandment. Plain and simple. How could you not expect to have severe consequences from our God! Am I wrong?? Am I misinterpretting the scripture?? Anyone? Anyone?
I don't think I am and here's why. After posting that on facebook I received texts messages and phone calls out the wazoo! Let me add that they were not opposing my comment. I got alot of "AMENS" and alot of "what's going on and how can we help" comments. I have great family & friends by the way!! Y'all ROCK!! However, if someone out there does have another opinion I ask that you share. Part of me doing this is to learn and grow. I want to be able to be well rounded and see the Word of God for ALL that it has to offer me. My ultimate goal is to be the best parent to the one and only child God has blessed me with. I don't want to get to the end of his teen years and wonder if I could have layed a better foundation. I want his foundation to be solid and the one way for that to happen is to see it from all angles. So please, by all means, share your thoughts.
I've been a parent for 16 years now and have spent a good part of these 16 years in constant communication with God, as I'm sure all you parents have. In fact, if you pull up next to me at a stop light and see my lips moving I might be singing, but chances are I'm having myself a conversation with the Man! Just smile and nod and I'll wave! I am so thankful that He gave his precious angel to me to raise on this earth, but sometimes don't understand how He thought I would be the best person to raise such an amazing human being. Despite all my parenting screw ups he is a great kid!! The reason he is such an amazing kid is because of my village!! Now, I don't want to get all political here, but I will say that the only thing I have agreed with Hillary on is that IT TAKES A VILLAGE! This raising kids thing is hard! Angel, if you're reading DO NOT be discouraged! You are awesome and are going to be an awesome mother!! Trust me and TRUST HIM!! But, it does take a village. My village consists of my God, my parents, my sister & brother in law, my extended family, and ALL the people who have been these wonderful influences in Colton's life. God has seen fit to place people in his life that have his best interest at heart...and mine too!! He's had coaches who have remained close since he was 5 years old. Randy, David, Richard, Johnny, Frank...the list goes on and on and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE MEN ARE STILL INVOLVED IN MY KIDS LIFE AND SO ARE THEIR PRECIOUS WIVES!! That's a dang good village!!! Our Pampa friends who check on him and support both of us in what we do daily. THEY ARE OUR VILLAGE!! None of these people would EVER, EVER consider doing or saying anything that went against my teachings and guidance. We are truly blessed and I am thankful every day that God cares so much about us to put such amazing people in our lives!
I guess that the point I'd like and hope to be making is that everything we say and do has an influence on someone. If you are in a position where you may be influencing a small child or young adult make sure you are leading them down their chosen path and not HINDERING them by guiding the down your own path. Communicate with their parents and abide by their parents wishes and boundaries. Like I said in my fb post, I know as a parent that I make mistakes...DAILY, but God will reveal to me what needs to be revealed and He will grant me and my child the grace we need to make it through in spite of those mistakes. You never know whose village you may be a part of. Take the role seriously! It's not only a big deal, but it's an honor!!
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