WHAT A DIFFERENCE 20 YEARS MAKES

ALOT CAN HAPPEN IN 20 YEARS...

AND AREN'T WE THANKFUL FOR THAT!!!

April 11, 2012

On this day, twenty years ago I was a sophomore in high school and was passed a note on the way to class by one of my friends (Sheila, I think) from this guy who was a senior. I opened the note and at the end it said, “P.S. On April 11, 1974 a star was born." Yes, that is a pic of the actual letter. What can I say...I'm an emotional hoarder! At the time I received that note I probably agreed with him that he was a star, but today I don’t know that I’d be so quick to say “star!” I was 15 then and didn’t even consider whether or not he would be around at the end of the school year let alone in 20 years. It wasn’t until a few months later that I began hoping he would always be there.

It’s very rare that you stay in contact with the person you date in high school. It’s even more rare that you stay in a relationship with that person after high school and even more rare that you marry and remain married 20 years later. It can happen, this I know. I’ve seen it and I think it’s wonderful when two people not only grow together, but grow up together. We however, weren’t that lucky.

I look back at the past 20 years and first of all can’t believe that so much time has passed. I remember who he was back then (BDC) and who I was back then (Eazy E – there’s a story there. Don’t read too much into that nickname!) and I look at both of us now and how far we’ve come. We’re grown ups and are now acting like it. It’s a nice change. It’s taken a lot of conversations, a lot of time, a lot of praying, a lot of understanding, a lot of compromise, a lot of agreeing to disagree, and mostly a lot of forgiving on both of our parts to get to this place. God doesn’t measure or keep track of my wrongdoings, He just forgives me when I ask him to and that’s exactly what we've decided to do.

Here's what I've learned over the last 20 years...

It definitely does take two. Two to make it work and two to mess it up! One person may start the argument, but it takes a second person to keep it going. One person may be working on the relationship, but the other one has to make a choice to put the same amount of work in. One person may forgive, but in order to move on the other person needs to do the same. Seems simple and almost embarrassing to admit that it took us so long to get it. I’m at a point in my life where it is no longer necessary to keep score of everything someone (anyone) has said or done to hurt me. I am no angel and my windows have enough cracks in them as it is so I’m in no position to throw stones or judge anyone else. We all make choices…some good, and some not so good. The great thing is that even though life doesn’t have a rewind button we do sometimes get the opportunity to make things right. I highly recommend that if there’s something in your life that needs to be made right that you do it!

So, after 20 years of ups and downs, highs and lows and a lot of stuff in between I’m happy to say that our relationship is still standing. God filled in the blanks of both of our lives during the down times and has blessed us with ALOT of smiles and laughter to begin the next chapter with. We’ve decided to do as Timon and Pumba do! “You gotta put your behind in your past!” "No,no, no it’s, You gotta put your past behind ya!” If you’ve seen The Lion King you will get that. Ced and I used to watch it over and over and over when Colton was first born. We would say we were watching it with him, but he was only weeks old so he wasn’t really watching much TV. It was one of our favorites and even today we quote the lines from that movie when we talk. Funny, but you can learn a lot from a meerkat and a wart hog!!

Regardless of all that has occurred during these last 20 years I wouldn’t trade any of it for a second. The only thing I get upset about is that I didn’t apologize earlier and that it took me so long to learn to accept an apology when it was given. Besides that I have no regrets. I believe that we are exactly where we are supposed to be and I wouldn’t give up who either of us has become to have a different past. I look forward to continuing our new beginning and even though we sucked it up as parents to the most precious son on earth I am glad that we’ve finally figured things out. I’m sure Colton is also thrilled that his parents have finally grown up. :)

Anyone could have given me a son, but he is the only person in the entire universe that could have given me Colton. For that I am so thankful that on April 11, 1974 Cederick Lynn Wilbon was born. Happy Birthday Ced!! Thank you for being there for us when we truly needed you the most. It's been a long road for the two of us but one that I would gladly travel again. I wish you nothing but great things this year and your many, many years to come!! Happy 35th (wink, wink) & HAKUNAMATTA!!!

A look back at the good times & some of my favorite pics...