To Those Who Have Gone Before Us

This may sound sick and twisted to some of you, but I take comfort in others' difficult moments. Let me explain. Nothing makes a tough situation more bearable than hearing someone say "I know exactly how you feel," and knowing deep down that they really do know what you're going through because you know they've been through something similar. The comfort I feel isn't in knowing that they went through hard times, but that they came out on the other side of it.

Having conversatons is one of my most favorite things to do! When I was younger I was a talker!! It didn't matter who or what the subject was. If I had something to say I felt like it was my responsibility to share it with the rest of the world (or class). In fact, I don't believe that I have one grade school report card that doesn't say in the additional comments section: Erin talks too much, or Erin talks excessively, or I had to move Erin & Tiffany to opposite sides of the room due to their inablility to stop talking. Ahhh, the good ol days. Thank goodness that's all Mrs. Laflin, Mrs. Moore, Mrs. Farmer, and Mrs. Wyatt said. I'm sure there could've been more!

These days I do alot more listening. I love hearing stories about someones past, their high school days, their college days, how the met their spouse, their family and kids, where they came from, how they landed here, their profession, beliefs, goals, dreams and the list goes on. People are truly amazing and have amazing stories to tell! I love it!!

In addition to great conversation, I love wisdom! If there was anything I wish I had an abundance of it would be wisdom. What people may not realize is that while I'm enjoying my daily conversations with you I'm also doing my best to soak up all the wisdom I can from your life's story. I don't know, maybe I should've stuck to my second career choice and been a news anchor. I am definitely a who, what, when, where, why, and how kinda girl! Who did you lean on to get through that? What would you do differently in your life now? When did you know that was the right thing to do? Where would you be had that not happened? Why did you decide to make that choice? How did it work out? Then, if you tell me you have boys, then look out!! I'll start spitting questions out at you so fast you'll think I'm writing a book on raising sons! Just for the record, I have read them all!! I know it may seem like I'm nosey, but truly I'm not. I just know that at some point in my life I may encounter something similar if not something identical to what you're going through and I want to be armed and ready.

Speaking of kids. Now there is a subject that comes up frequently in parents' daily conversations. Gotta love them! As the mother of a teenager I would give anything for my kiddo to seek the counsel of the wise ones who have gone before him. So, if by some miraculous chance the teenagers who have access to this blog actually take the time to read it I, as someone who has "gone before," would like for them to know a few things.

1) Not every bit of advise is always going to fit with what you want to hear. In fact, most of the time, ESPECIALY when you're young it doesn't! However, there is a reason the sayings such as "been there, done that" or "history repeating itself" exists. People have actually done the things you are doing now. LISTEN TO THEM!!

2) Advise does not mean a lecture. The point is to try to help you make better choices so that you don't have to deal with facing potentially tough consequences that others have faced. Look at it this way...the more information you have, the better choice you can make! It's that simple!

3) No one is trying to take your choices away from you. It is possible for you to listen to the advise and opinions of others and STILL make your own choices. However, if you've been given Godly advise and instruction and you STILL choose to make a poor choice then the consequence is all yours. You better be ready!

4) Just because someone gives you advise doesn't mean you have to take it! Listen to what they have to say and take from their experiences what works for your situation.

5) Not all advise is going to be Godly advise. You better know the difference! If you ever doubt whether or not someone is giving you good, sound Godly advise GO FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF! If you don't have a Bible, call me, I'll get you one. Look it up!!! If the choices you are making are in line with the choices God wants you to make then all is good, but if they aren't then you better get there.

One last story before I go. This one's more for the parents then the kids. We all know that life with a teenager can be a rollercoaster. Just to give you a little perspective, on the day that this particular story took place Colton & I were on the part of the rollercoaster where it's turning upside down and going backwards AT THE SAME TIME. Enjoy!

As some of you may know I work with the elderly. There is no greater place to receive wisdom then with this generation. One afternoon a co-worker and I had gone to one of our other facilities to clean out some old files. After about 10 minutes (not really, it was a couple of hours) of looking at boxes of terminated personnel files we decided to go out on the patio for some fresh air. While we were sitting out there one of the residents joined us. She said hello and stated that she was going to walk around the courtyard a couple of times and get her daily walk in. She hung her purse over her walker and away she went. She was by far the sweetest sight ever and making really good time around that courtyard I might add!! After about 2 laps she came over and sat with us. We went through introductions and then...the conversation began!! Cleaning out terminated files had just dropped on my priority list! She told us all about her travels, her late husband, the activities she was involved in at the retirement community, what day she goes to play Bingo, (Tuesday, just in case you were wondering) and then came the subject I personally was waiting for...her KIDS. Her son had moved her to Amarillo 12 years ago to be close to him. She had other children that were scattered all over the states as well. She then looked at us and asked if either of us had kids. My co-worker told about her 2 daughters and her son and they talked about the differences in raising boys and girls. We all got a couple of laughs out of that dialogue. Then...it was my turn.
"I have a son."
"Just one?" she asked.
"Yes ma'am."
"How old is he?"
"16"
"Oh"
Oh??? That's it! I just get an "Oh." You've got to be kidding me!! There's got to be more than that!!
Well, there was.

"Let me tell ya something about teenagers" she said. "When your kids are toddlers they step on your feet, but when they become teenagers they step on your heart."

This most precious woman then reached for her walker, got up out of the chair, thanked us for visiting with her and then took off around the courtyard to finish her walk. What she didn't know is that she had given me more wisdom in those few words then she could have even possibly imagined! She had now made my list of "people who have gone before me" and she made it! Another example of a momma who had seen some hard times, but came through it and now enjoys her kiddos & the relationship they have with each other!!!

Like you, we're still on that rollercoaster every day, but thanks to those who have gone before me we don't turn upside down and go backwards for long. I'm blessed to be surrounded by wise, wise family & friends, as well as a God who gives me grace along the way to finding the wisdom I search for.

So, to all the momma's out there who are either getting their feet or their hearts stepped on, come join me for a margarita and a pedicure and we'll continue to ride the rollercoaster in style!!!